Okay, calm down. We'll get through this.

So, here's the DellMiniBoot way:
1. Download the DMB iso file.
2. Download Syslinux.
3. Extract Syslinux to a folder. Rename the folder to something simple like "syslinux". To make this really easy, move the whole folder to your C: drive root directory. (Just open My Computer, double click the C: drive, and drop the folder right in there next to "Windows" and "Program Files".
4. Mount the DMB iso file using something like Daemon Tools Lite. Also plug in your USB key.
5. Open your Start menu, click "Run" and type "cmd" (no quotes), then hit enter.
6. Type "cd .." and hit Enter. Do this again, and you should be at a prompt that just says "C:\>" with a flashing cursor.
7. Type "cd ./syslinux/win32" and hit Enter.
8. Type "syslinux.exe -ma x:" but replace the "x:" with the drive letter of your USB drive. It will not give you any feedback, but you should be ready now.
9. Drag and drop all of the contents of your DMB iso, which is now mounted as a CD in "My Computer," to your USB stick.
10. You're done!